This is it
by IAlreadyHaveAPlan
Summary: Quinn finally finds the courage to put her feelings for Rachel into a letter; but when Rachel's life hangs in the balance, how will Quinn deal with having to say goodbye to the girl who had stolen her heart? Warning: Character Death


**AN: So I wrote this as a spur of the moment thing. Sadness was the aim. Thanks again to my editor Raichuberry. **

Quinn waited on bated breath, wringing her hands in her lap. Everything about this seemed like a nightmare, nothing appeared to be tangibly real; everything was happening but not really _happening_. Her world had fallen into a freefall ever since she heard news of the accident.

That was two weeks ago. Today, they all gathered in the guest room of the hospital. Quinn couldn't help but think of the sadness this room had known. Despite the attempt of creating a calming atmosphere with white carpet, pale yellow walls and pictures of beaches, the history of the room was sadness in itself. People's worlds had been destroyed here. Children had learned that they were now orphans of the world here. Parents had discovered that there was no hope for their child here. Adults had lost a parent they'd long since forgotten they'd loved.

_I never thought my happiness would depend on you._

_That was before you came into my life in a way I have only read about. I've seen love portrayed in film and stories, but never felt it before. I'd never expected it to come from you; but now that it has, I can't imagine life without it. I guess that's what you need to know first._

_I love you, Rachel._

When the doctor finally stepped in, the already silent room slipped into an unnerving, unnatural silence. More silent than silent. As silent as death.

Members of the glee club, along with Rachel's family, stared at the man who seemed far too young to be a doctor. Rachel needed a real doctor. This kid was probably still learning. Why didn't she have a real doctor?

As he started talking all the medical jargon behind what state Rachel had found herself in, everyone held their breath. There was no point fighting to understand these words, they all knew what they were waiting for was at the end.

Will she, or won't she, wake up.

Santana clutched at the length of Brittany's arm, the blonde rubbing her thumb over he girlfriends knee. Mercedes held Finn's hand while Noah placed a hand on his friends back. Kurt and Blaine both remained looking at the ground, while the sound of Tina's sobs broke out, quickly muffled once she was crying into Mike's chest.

_You surprise me._

_I want to build you a life of flowers, sneak hugs and surprise dates. I'll be a girl of stolen kisses, romantic gestures and sly smiles. You can be the girl of deep blushing, pillow clutching and butterfly kisses._

_I want to wake up beside you. I want to watch you sleep, and I don't even care sound how creepy that sounds. I'd watch you sleep because it would be like seeing the transition between night and day on the most beautiful canvas the world has ever created._

"…So, unfortunately, this means that Rachel is not responding to the treatment. Her brain has stopped responding to stimulus. While her body is living on the machines, her brain is gone. I'm very sorry, but we do need an answer today."

"She wouldn't want it," Hiram choked out, pausing mid pace. He placed a hand over his mouth, closing his eyes as he continued walking the length of the room.

"Hiram's right. Rachel would want us to… want us to-," LeRoy couldn't finish his sentence before tears sprang to his eyes, covering his face with his hands.

"To turn off the machines," Finn finished, his words settling heavily around the room.

"To let her die."

Silence.

_You've always been there for me; I realize that now._

_I can't believe I'd never noticed it. You had the most reason to hate me out of everyone, yet it was always you that came to my rescue. Whenever I thought I was alone, lost, you were there by my side to guide me through. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am._

_I know you're marrying Finn, and this might sound crazy. I know you're driving out to Cleveland to pick up your wedding dress this afternoon. So maybe I'm too late, and maybe this is crazy. Strike that, I know it's crazy. You make me crazy._

_The only thing I know for sure is that I'm hopelessly, irrecoverably, and unconditionally in love you._

There really wasn't enough space in the cramped hospital room, but there was no chance of asking someone to leave. Everyone needed to be here, but nobody wanted to be here. Most of the glee clubbers hung around Finn, speaking kind words to the sobbing boy as their own tears fell.

Quinn jumped at the sudden contact of a hand on her arm. Brittany stood beside her, only to rest her head on the other blonde's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Q."

And Quinn learned that Brittany knew. The girl, always so in touch with feelings, had always known.

Hiram stood dutifully by the switch to the endless amounts of flashing, buzzing machines. Now it was LeRoy's turn to say goodbye to his only child. He slowly brushed the hair out from her forehead, and kissed it softly.

"Being a part of something special makes you special," he whispered against her skin, giving up on his attempts to swipe at his tears now.

"Thank you so much for making up special, princess."

Quinn could do this. She had to do this. She had to.

She had to stand by while the only person she may ever love was stripped from the world.

Watch as Finn got to hold her hand as she left the world.

Watch Hiram flick the switch, hear the buzzing fill the room, watch the lights slowly fade.

Watch Rachel leave her.

_So, this is it._

_This is be being brave. This is me standing up and fighting for something I want, something that makes me happy and God, do you make me happy, Rachel. You've got a smile that makes the sun jealous, it warms people's hearts that much._

_So you need to know that I love you in a big way. A way that makes me want to be silly with you. A way that makes me want to dance, to spin, to finger paint, to sing, to scream into an endless abyss, because that's exactly what my love for you is like._

_It's strong and silly and dizzy. It's messy and loud and endless. But all you really need to know is that I love you, Rachel._

_And if you'd let me, I'd like to be yours forever._

_So please, meet me on the school oval tomorrow and let me know your answer._

_Quinn Fabray. _


End file.
